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To Change Your Name, or Not?

Deciding whether to change your name after a divorce is a personal choice and can depend on various factors. But ultimately, it is YOUR decision to make.



Emotional Impact: 

What does your name mean to you?  How is it tied to your identity?  Will it impact your children and how?  Take some time to reflect on these questions. The name change may give you closure, or even empower you.


Professional Identity

If you have established a career under your married name, consider how changing it might affect your professional life or recognition. Or maybe you are trying to start over and reinvent yourself post-divorce and the name change might help you do so with your own identity.  


Children

If you have children, you might want to keep your married name to match your children.  Or maybe delay changing your name until after high school graduation, depending on the age of your children.  If your children are older, you can have a conversation with them about the name change and see how they feel.  In my case, they were indifferent or encouraging me to make the change.  


Social Perception

When thinking about social pressures, we sometimes let our friends, family, or colleagues influence our decisions.  How will they feel about changing my name?  Maybe they will be encouraging, maybe not.  Post-divorce is the time for you to be able to make decisions based on your own needs.  You will know when or if you are ready to take this step.


Legal and Administrative Tasks

Changing your name is time-consuming when it comes to getting all of the legal documents updated.  Start with Social Security and then the DMV.  It’s fairly straightforward when you have the divorce decree in hand stating your name can be changed.  Once you have this done, you will need your picture ID (takes about 2 weeks) to change your bank account information.  Move on to your other documents–deed to your home, Passport, Life Insurance policies, etc.  A list is provided below, to help you keep track. It can be daunting, but also feels like “taking your life back”!


Personal Preference

This is a decision that only you can make.  I recommend getting it written into your divorce decree, as this will give you the option to do so.  You don’t have to do it right away.  I did decide to change my name (after a year of having the document), and the day I went to the DMV, I felt empowered.  I weighed out all of the factors above, and for me it made sense.  Ultimately, your comfort and preference are the most important factors. Consider what feels right for you.



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